Monday, September 27, 2010

Inanimate Musings

I'm having a bit of an odd moment. I don't quite feel myself, and to be aware that I'm acting and feeling out of character is quite a surreal experience. I'm not entirely sure what triggered it, but I feel somewhat let down and impatient. I can't find any music that changes my mood, but I need some noise because the cat's constant grooming noises are boring into my brain like a cerebral jackhammer.

I know I'm at my best when I feel good physically. With the positive physical feeling usually comes a sense of clarity and peace I can't get by any other means. At the moment I have a nagging pain. I have had it for about a week now. It's entirely bearable, but always constant. It's definitely in a decline, but I have to admit I'm struggling. It's entirely possible that the nagging is a cause of my nonchalance and somewhat surly attitude as I can't escape it. Then again, it's entirely possible that it's not.

I don't like being inactive. It slowly drives me crazy. I feel weak, pathetic and soft. Unfortunately it puts me in a stubborn and childish state of mine where I don't listen to anyone. I find it a little harder to communicate because I don't really read things properly and struggle to find the right words to express what I mean.

I kind of want a hug, but I don't want to talk about it.

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