The problem with being utterly smitten is that the object of your desire is forever dominating your thoughts. It just takes a spark to skew a train of thought and send it careening through a hazy daydream.
I have grown disinterested and lazy. I have tried repeatedly to pull myself out but have failed.I know she will push me, I know she wants to push me just so I can see how far I can go. She realises I may not be able to do it without her, yet she still wants to be with me. It is a strange feeling to be able let someone in. I have barely felt like I have, she just seems to understand.
I have no idea what I did to deserve this, and will probably never know. For the first time in what seems an age, I feel nervous and excited about what the future will hold. Its quite an invigorating sensation, this 'love'.